there swings the second hand.

if i hold one and let the other be free

i am afraid i have but half of you

this tender world of dreamy state

i walk on clouds even while awake

how love swings my heart so wild

i have you now yet i have not enough

i keep tracking your eyes stubbornly with mine

wherever you look i wish to be a part of it

like a canvas loving her artist i

am fond of just your pair of eyes

the swings of time, as the clock ticks a rhyme

my hand that’s loose holds my chest so tight

to be a part of you, yet not so much i am scared

i am blessed and yet i am cursed all the while

love’s breeze can be rough sometimes

i am in love yet hate who i become

the moment i feel i might lose your love

i lose myself along with you.

from the surface.

 

 

sink away i from superficial joys

i wish to believe in kindness

yet this tight feeling repels me from you

something is withering consistently within me

i have no words to tell these pains apart from your smile

i am engaged in a war, i am at peace with my own

but as soon as my breath shatters by the thought of you

i seem to vanish in the smoke of a past

rescue me you cannot since the thunders shall fall

sinking me to the depths away from you

while you too shall be destroyed by this

an ugly sight of my pathetic heart

how love can only survive at a distance

is what i have come to question

and yet i cannot touch any more of this air

this separation, your constant stare

my agonies will only rise to the sky

cloud your days and deepen my plight.

drifting like autumn clouds.

i see you walking away

without making an effort

to look back, or think back

what about me, about you

and about us

you chose to let go

it hurts yet you feel not

the sorrow of eyes pleading

you drift away nonchalantly

carefree and unworried

am i the only one still clinging

to your shadows old

receding so fast from me

should i stop following

and stop loving or

should i grab you back

to where we stood before

but your heart’s far away

so distant like clouds

on the other end of the shore

as time’s horizon eats them away

or precious memories being sold

unwillingly i still stand

helplessly holding

your imaginary hand

i cannot look back

i can bear not to see ahead

so now, where should i go?

little by little.

being with you
following your shadow
makes me happy

little by little
i change
my world changes

and everything seems
possible
for once

i am confident that
this will go on
for long

with you
i know i can walk
without fear

happiness fills
my little heart
when i hold on to you

little by little
my vision enlarges
and i am astonished.

trust?

i wonder
if you will
hold my hand
and allow me
to lead

i think its hard
for you to believe
in my vision
in my direction
or my path

its tough to
follow me
for you don’t
trust me
not anymore

so where should i
walk now
where should i
head to
and where must i stand?

if i have none
to hold me
my hands will
sway
to the stormy wind again

and i shall wander
and be lost
for long
and
for good

so trust i believe
is the root
that holds me
its your hand
that i need

yet i cannot grab it
its not up to me
to reach out rather
its up to you
to race up to me

to ground me
when i evaporate
and to give me a
tiny place
to stay.

i don’t know what to say.

on my guard
aware of words
i am scared
just glancing sideways
at your serious face
i don’t know what to say
i don’t know how you feel
i can just
walk beside
like a shadow mismatched
and set my pace
as fast or slow as yours
holding back thoughts
wandering with my heart
discontented
displeased yet walking with you
i don’t know what to say…

unsoundings.

i look beside me
i see you walking
with a twisted heart

you say you can see
how and why you lie to me
i have always wondered

understanding is a huge burden
how do you carry it
upon your spec sized heart?

you hear me as if
you can see through me
yet your eyes are so cold

the wind, the people walking
even the sights turn your attention
away from my words… so easily

i get hurt just by looking at
how ridiculous my reflections
appear in your eyes to me

should i keep walking
because i feel like carrying
a mountain upon my back

its hard to keep pace
with someone like you
who can just not feel anything

my voice, my whispers, my breath
not once have you \heard them
you are blind to my very existence

it seems
that i never was there
in the first place for you

and your world is just
unsoundings of my cries
all gobbled up instantly

in a vacuum of your pride
and in the spotlight of
your own supreme self.

Things we never talk about.

I have a beautiful relationship with my sister. We talk about things that are perhaps very rare in conversations. Deep and enriching thoughts about life, soul, creativity and the future.

It is important for me to keep motivating her, telling her that she can be best in whatever it is that she tries to accomplish in her life.

My role as a sister demands that I be that person in her life to let her know who she is to herself and to the world. There are friends whom I guide as well, when times make it necessary, but it is nothing like what I have with my sister.

Life would have been such an incomplete experience if I had not had her to share this experience with.

I keep thanking God all the time for this beautiful gift, this relationship.

And do I tell these things to her? Well, how often do we try to do that? It is difficult for me to express it to her face as I express it to my page. And it is damn hard. I don’t want her to see that side of me where I am so much in love with her. And there is that conviction that maybe she may not take it as seriously as she is supposed to and shake it off like some random remark.

Things most of us never talk about are the ones that tell others in our lives about how much we really love them and what it means to us to have them. Its universal, its true in every life, in every relationship. We are always scared of that moment when we just fade off in their hearts and we don’t want that.

 

Unconditional understanding.

What the world really seeks is a relationship where the other person will understand you more than yourself.

A kind of unconditional understanding that binds two people is a perfect example of a lifelong relationship and beyond that sometimes.

I yearn for it in my life. On a soul level I feel like even the best I know just fail to understand what it is that I feel and why. I am not as complicated as it appears to their eyes, its just that they won’t make that necessary effort. Well, that way we are all lazy.

Even while listening to someone else’e problems our mind tends to wander off now and then and we can not really keep track of the frequency of this happening.

But somehow in spite of all the idealism hidden in this thought, I believe that it can be practiced in reality if tried mutually by the two people in a relationship. And it need not be just a romantic kind, it can be almost any kind of relationship and there can be a level of understanding in these unlike any other.

Related articles

• Loving Unconditionally (selfawarenesscafe.com)
• Unconditional love is all-encompassing – SaLuSa through Isabel Henn April 29, 2012 | Sirian Heaven (2012indyinfo.com)
• Unconditional Love (recoveryalongroute66.com)

hands made of pain.

it breaks my bone
to think of hurting them
it pierces me like a meteor
through the night sky
it just hurts to see them
in ways i never thought i would
it is just awful to know
my life could hurt someone
someone i loved so much
deeper than oceans
i believe life was about love
but life was equally woven in pain
and it is unbelievably true
that someone’s innocence
can manifest in indirect ways
and break away the love
of which the bonds were made
i am too weak i guess
i cannot seal right now
this gap that has divided us
the steady distancing of my dear ones
from my heart, from my soul
how do i seal the differences
and end the misunderstandings
i hardly know
but right now i feel like
i am the culprit
my hands are made of pain
i cannot touch my loved ones
for it would hurt them if i did
and its like i am already living
in my worst nightmare
alive and breathing through
watching them struggle
helplessly so…

Related articles

• Kahlil Gibran on Pain (ministryofhappiness.wordpress.com)

Her happiness touches me too.

Being a sister is a privilege and a challenge. Everything about my sister affects me. She is a darling, she is a monster, she is a buddy, she’s an inspiration.

When I see her happy and joyful, interested in life and enjoying her time, it infects me instantly. Seeing her smile, makes me smile. I change completely in her presence.

She can disrupt my entire study routine and yet, I love her and I can break away from the schedules, from sleep, rest, everything. When she was on this trip last week, I felt like I had lost her to distance, to our differences, but when she returned I realized that no matter where she is she can never really stop loving and caring for me. I was an idiot, I realized and my affection for her just grew stronger than ever before.

The people you love most in your life, can affect you in profound ways. I come to say this from my experience with my own darling sis.

🙂

Related articles

• I Smile (hugam.wordpress.com)
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Assumptions are the death of a relationship. If you think you know what’s going on inside someone else’s head, think again. We imagine that love gives us the power to read one another’s mind, when all we are really doing is reading our own. It’s a great self-defense mechanism but no substitute for actual communication. The very best way to know what’s really on someone’s mind is also the riskiest: you have to ask them.

Tonya Hurley  (via 1000eternities)

Feelings of Parents Neglected by their Children

He loved his children. He loved them from all his heart. Gave them all that he could, sacrificed everything for them. His story is something that the youth of today should learn from. His story is that of a parent suffering at the hands of his children, about their helplessness, their pain and their broken hopes.

A father who retired after sincerely serving at his job. He and his wife were alone now for all their children had settled far away from them. After retirement he and his wife wanted to live with their children so that they could shower all their love on them and their grandchildren. However the children were selfish. They hardly cared and did not wish to have their parents living with them. They were happier in their worlds, they wanted their freedom and felt that if the parents would live with them then their presence will constantly interfere with their lives. So the children after some thought came up with a conspiracy. They wanted the parents to refuse living with them. So they announced to them that the father will live with the younger son and the mother with the eldest. But the parents had been living together since the past forty years and it was impossible for them to even imagine a seperation.

But they agreed to the demand since they wanted to see their kids happy. For six months they tolerated all the misbehavior of their children and the pain of their seperation from each other. At the end of these six months when they finally met each other at a railway station they decided to end the ordeal. They went away back to their old home where they had spent some forty years of their happily married life.

One of his friends asked him to write a book about his life. And when he did it touched the hearts of thousands… At the ceremony where he inaugarated his book he spoke the following words to his audience…

I can still remember those days back then when I was young; how the people of my generation used to be so involved in relationships. We used to see God in our father’s face, we felt heaven at the feet of our mother. But now things have changed. The current generation is far more intelligent. They use relationships. They think that relationships are like a ladder; something that they can place their feet on and climb over. They neglect their parents like some useless piece of furniture; like some broken vessel; like torn clothes; like some form of garbage.

But Life is not some ladder, Life is a Tree. Parents are the roots of this tree. However green the shoots of the tree maybe but if the roots are cut the tree can no longer survive! Parents like the roots of a tree nourish their children; they spend every hard earned penny to see a trace of happiness on the faces of their children; they sacrifice their own needs and happiness for the sake of their children. Inspite of this when the parents grow old the children hardly care to even consider them; they hesitate to give to their eyes a trace of light, to give to their hearts a trace of hope!

They seperate their parents, whom God has united into a pure and everlasting relationship. The children hardly understand that the way they are treating their parents today there will come a day when their own children will treat them the same way.

But I am lucky for God has given me a life-partner who has filled my life with happiness. Walking with her Life just got easier; Walking with her all our problems got solved, and that amazing person is my dear wife. She has been with me though all the ups and downs of life and I want to thank her for being there. And children who cannot support, love and respect their parents are not worthy of our love. As parents we will never be able to forgive them for all the pain that they have given us at this age!!

Related articles

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• Parents not so unhappy, research shows (upi.com)
• May is National Foster Care Month (resurrectedwriter.wordpress.com)

I try to laugh
But they submerge
Forcefully my face into
This blue water
That sucks it all
My happiness
And joys sacrificed
Into the moment’s turmoil
Their moods
My mistakes
And together they cause
So much to boil
And flow out of the vessel
This hot temperature
Our relationships suffer
Their must be a way
To conquer
This ever increasing vapor
And life a life again
On plain terms, simple joys,
Understandings
And pure love.